Didn’t sexualize women the way they do. I wish it wasn’t wrong to want to pose nude for a photoshoot because you’d be considered “slutty” or “trashy”, maybe just “scandalous” aren’t we supposed to love our bodies? I’m no feminist, I’m just really tired of holding myself back for the likes of someone else or some “people”. I’ve grown up with self image problems and body dismorphia, I’ve always had low self esteem my entire life. There’s always been. Part of me that’s wanted to do a nude photo shoot to just feel liberated and sort of accept myself and my body. Maybe one day.
Reading a passage on “learning to love your partner” I have an entirely new perspective on my relationship. I was putting so much unnecessary pressure on it and I didn’t even realize. I’m just so fixated on feeling a specific way and being shown true love in specific ways I have stored in my mind of how “care” feels. Most of my issues lie in my subconscious and others just in my insecurities and fear. I am so in love and I can’t even try and pretend I’m not. I’m done posting all this stupid hateful shit because I’m sad and hurt. I’m going to get screwed over sometimes, but so is he. We are just a work in process but I can guarantee if it was worth it we wouldn’t have done half the shit we’ve done. I’ve sacrificed a lot but I know things will progress and I’ve never been so happy and captivated by someone in my entire life. So here’s to a change in the weather.